My Top Five Anything With Zombies In!

I FUCKING LOVE ZOMBIES; HERE'S MY FAVOURITE BITS OF STUFF WITH 'EM IN

5. Dawn Of The Dead-1978 Some consider it to be George Romero's masterpiece, it's not. Whilst it's certainly a humorous and shocking take on American capitalism it's devoid of the claustrophobia and genuine terror of a certain Romero movie that'll pop up somewhere on this list. I adore this film from its soundtrack to its oddly feminist undertones it survives well beyond the slapstick parody Zak Snyder claimed as a remake.

4.[REC]- Scariest movie I've ever seen in my life, if you've not seen it, it's cloverfield with Spanish Zombies instead of "Clover". all set in one block of flats and giving eighty minutes of screen time to the slammingest hottie in the history of slamming hotties! I didn't choose this picture because I have a creepy night vision/terrified girl fetish, I just thought it was funny it doesn't let go! Rec was re-made for American/Stupid audiences (note the two are not the same thing) and released under the title Quarantine, I've not seen it but it looked pretty much the same. on the most exciting note ever check this mother fucker out!

3. Shaun Of The Dead. Probably, if I were honest and not so scared of automatically turning into a Red Dwarf fan for admitting it, my favourite film of all time, if you haven't seen it you're an idiot or really not interested in Zombies or Comedy (I think I credit this film for me taking a serious interest in both, though Bill Hicks might have something to say about the latter) and therefore you're probably not my friend. Only thing I will add is how disappointed I was by the DREADFUL sequel to Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz. Let's only hope the final instalment in the "Blood and Ice Cream" Trilogy (named because each film contains lots of violence and just one Cornetto) is a significant improvement!

AT THIS POINT I WENT NEXT DOOR AND DRANK TEN BOTTLES OF STELLA AND PLAYED RISK FOR THREE HOURS. THE FOLLOWING MIGHT MAKE LESS SENSE (UNLESS MY TRADITIONAL CONVICTION THAT WHEN I'M DRUNK I'M CLEVER AS FUCK RINGS TRUE)

2. World War Z (the audio book)- There aren't even words for this piece, as impressive I'm sure the novel is (it's a novel in a very pre Robinson Crusoe sense, if my English literature studies have taught me anything this comes across as a series of letters pertaining to a narrative whole, it's a concept that pre-dates our notions of literature but in this sense works superbly)The Audio Book is the definitive article. It features some of the most impressive voice acting I've ever heard, massive mentions go to Henry Rollins for the grizzled mercenary that inherently contradicts and fits with his astounding nature and work ethic. Mark Hamil, whose grizzled ex Grunt Todd Wainio gives an astounding aspect on the nature of military service without the notion of progression and is "credited" with the line "looking at the world through hell coloured glasses", and Michelle Kholos who doesn't even merit her own Wikipedia page by the looks of things, but is the only artist to make me cry since I saw Titanic at the age of 11 (that's not a lie). The material itself is a masterpiece of Geopolitical strategic thinking and psychological warfare (on the individual and mob scale). I can't get over the influence this "novel" has had on me, part survivalist manifesto part political foreshadowing the cinematic adaptation will surely prove to be the ground breaking piece in Zombie fiction.

1.Night Of The Living Dead-It came first, it created every convention we have for the genre (previously Zombies had been tenuously based on some ludicrous (of course) Haitian myth (Ludicrous and myth are one and the same I'm not shitting on any alternate cultural perception) that made for a boring religious pandemic)night of the living dead grabbed a culture by it's racist balls and, with a cast of nobodies and no budget or pedigree (or even genius make up artist, this pre-dates the work of Tom Savini) to speak of created conventions that were upheld for over thirty years (see 28 Days Later). I feel I'd be doing a disservice to the genius to give a critical analysis of this film; So we'll just leave it as perfection.

Notable mentions on this list should be given to!

The Walking Dead-Robert Kirkman taking a purely survivalist aspect into the grittiest form of sexual fascism and creating characters who are adorable, intense and (as of the most recent issue) dead as fuck. I'm a year behind on the rest of the world reading this in it's anthologised format, this month I have the pleasure of a years worth in....however long I need!

Zombie Crew-an Infectious FUCKING BANGER by now defunct "Send More Paramedics" a bunch of chaps from Leeds who played what I think (musical genre definition has never been my forte) is called HorrorCore, I adore this song; it has sentimental value and the line "clinically deceased but I don't give a fuck I'm a flesh creeping horror and I'm ready to rock!".

28 Weeks Later-Danny Boyle's 28 Days later created fast Zombies and pretty much stated WE HAVE NO CHANCE. Exciting hour and a half of shaky camera superb performance from Christopher Eccleston in the second half but for me the film lacked depth. 28 Weeks Later is superb, Fast Zombies+Imperialist American arrogance=disaster. A totally under rated piece of cinema.

these have been (amongst many others) the most influential and enjoyable zombie pieces of my lifetime, I hope this list has given anyone, anywhere something new to discover!

I'd like to thank myself for not using the terms Zeitgeist or Proletariat during this blog, anyone aware of my cretinous socialist leanings will back me up on what an effort this was!

snippets

So when most people go through a significant life-changing event they tend to revert to pop psychology. Looking back to their childhood to find one grand unifying reasoning for the way they are in the present. I prefer to go for more a critical theory aspect like “I can’t believe she dumped me, that is so fucking post feminist” or “Yeah , work might have me on probation, but I was unequivocally Marxist in pulling that sicky!”

This is a work of fiction

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Just to get into the habbit

To make sure I blog frequently; because frankly you all give a massive shit, I'll try and scramble the last few days thoughts into words.

I don't have a comma button so I'm pasting in commas when I can be arsed, (like there) but will more often lump for the more convenient semi colon; good for starting lists, history essays and plugging the grammatical gap that the comma just doesn't give gravitas to.


I think I started this blog like four days ago; promising to write in it every day, clearly bullshit but I'm here now so let's chat why not?

Two of my friends celebrated their twenty first birthdays this week; only one actually had one; but both celebrated. As far as I can remember the evening was an unmitigated disaster; dispersed groups of strangers; a whole lot of tension; generally an unfamiliar air of discord that tends not to inhabit the beloved Trent House. I was then lucky enough to napture myself free entry to the apparently legendary Fatboy Slim at the unequivocally over capacity digital; I didn't see any of Fatboy; despite my overwhelming desire to create drunken holes in an over populated dance floor to the tune of "Gangsta Trippin"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-qFm4TdQEE fuckin classic right there!). None of this ever materialised; absolutely smashed the Budvar collection out of the Head of Steam and then I remember ill timed Jagerbombs; there was a brief period in a flat that I can only assume was George's then a long walk home totally devoid of any taxis to hitch me the mile or so between Gossy Traders and my house.

So yeah; I got drunk and missed Fatboy; won't be the first won't be the last.

Then Newcastle got relegated; allot of more informed experienced and eloquent people will comment on the cause and effect of this momentous sporting occurrence (whereas I'll probably be the only one who bangs on about how fucking mortal I was the other night) so I'm not going to give the issue to much time; suffice to say it was pretty upsetting; totally justified and truthfully very very exciting.

That’ll do for now

fucking hell that's banal

New Blog

I had a blog before, I never updated it and it was for the most part quite silly so I've decided to start afresh, I'll be updating this daily, hopefully. Not now thought; now I'm off to play Pro Evo and listen to Mark Kermode.